The ‘F’ Word Every Publicist Needs to Ditch From Their Pitch Vocabulary

why did this suddenly become such a thing??

Photo by LinkedIn Sales Solutions on Unsplash

Back in my day of entertainment journalism, the desperation of publicists was on a totally different level than it is in the world of beauty and lifestyle. Reps were at the mercy of their clients (often D-list reality stars), and it showed. I can’t tell you how many times someone promised me their first born if I’d run a tiny little sighting featuring their client or their event. There was no shame in the game, and we loved them for it (well, I mean, we grew to accept them for it and expect such behavior). If all else failed and I didn’t reply with ability to cover, they’d follow up begging for just a simple yes or no. Without thought, I’d easily say, “Not going to be able to cover this time, please keep me posted on the next one.”

I’ve never acted too cool to reply to a sensical email directed specifically to me. I mean ok, in the case of the desperate publicists, it can be a bit much. And sometimes it’s hard to know if an email is directed to you, or to a mass audience (but with your name as one of many invisible Mailchimp recipients). But generally speaking, if someone takes the time to craft an “exclusive” pitch with me in mind (and the pitch makes sense for me to receive), I’m not above a thoughtful reply. And especially if we have a professional relationship, I won’t leave you hanging.

But as of a couple months ago, “going to pass this time, but thanks for sending” isn’t cutting it. Publicists (it’s always the ones I’ve never worked with prior) are demanding “feedback” on these passed-on pitches. Listen, I know for a fact that slews of editors don’t even reply, so the fact that you’re getting a “thanks for thinking of me” note is plenty. If we do not have a relationship in the first place, why are you pushing me?

Here’s the thing that gets me… well, three things. First off, I’ll give in and provide the “feedback” they requested. And do you know how often I receive a “thank you” or “I appreciate it” ? NEVER. So yeah, I’ve decided from this point on, I’m permanently opting out of a random publicist’s feedback request.

The second thing about it is what my fellow journalist friend Amanda Lauren shared in her Substack last week. Most of these so-called “exclusives” we’re so ~graciously~ offered aren’t actually for the benefit of us, the journalists. They’re typically big brands with very minor campaigns or small launches that we know our readers won’t care about. So the publicist gets to present us with a favor for them wrapped up in an ~exclusive~ package. Sure, if you want me to break the news about Kendall Jenner’s partnership with L’Oreal, send over that press release stat. But an athlete as the face of Cavity Awareness Month (slight exaggeration, but you get the idea)? I’m good.

I don’t think publicists realize that a successful bold-faced name doesn’t necessarily equal a newsy bold-faced name. Let’s take Simone Biles, for example. As popular as she is, if it weren’t for all the controversy this past year with her husband Jonathan Owens, she wouldn’t be newsy outside of gymnastics or the Olympics. But Simone Biles is generous. If she landed a *significant* partnership and I got to cover it exclusively, I would. But imagine someone on a smaller scale than Biles, but same kind of thing. Known for a craft, respected for it. But not much else to reveal in the public eye. Those are the types of “exclusives” we’re talking about here.

The third thing is, yes, I know—you want this coveted feedback so you can go back to the client and prove to them you have a relationship with a journalist. And most of the time, this request helms from an account coordinator who is petrified of their boss. But the feedback is pretty self-explanatory: I don’t want it. Whether it’s because I don’t have the bandwidth to cover, or I know it won’t perform with readers, or I personally have zero interest, it’s a pass. You have my full permission to steal any of those canned replies the next time you need feedback from me.

Poor Tact in PR

Going back to the saying-thank-you thing, I have no tolerance for sore losers—especially if I’ve been nothing but thoughtful and considerate up to this point. I had an experience recently that grinded my gears. A publicist reached out to me in July and said she found me by way of a mutual publicist friend (someone I’m pretty close to). She mentioned she had a client celebrating a 25-year milestone this year and asked if I’d be interested in a feature. I was upfront from the jump, telling her my plate is almost entirely full. I knew then that there was a good chance I’d still be backed up through the rest of the year. But as I got to thinking, I realized I had a different opportunity for placement with this woman’s client. Sure enough, I featured the founder and her brand in a thoughtful industry piece.

Despite the lengthy mention, she was still pushing for that full-blown feature. She followed up last week and said even though I “briefly mentioned” (*cough*) her client in my piece over the summer, she still wanted to do something bigger. I certainly can’t knock the hustle, and I had given her permission to follow up. But, when I replied with a respectful and honest decline, I didn’t get a “thank you,” “I totally understand,” or an “I appreciate you letting me know.” I got nothing. Remember, I included your client in my summer piece just to be nice. I don’t even know you.

If a journalist is rude or short, I understand matching their energy. But an earnest and considerate rejection deserves a friendly acknowledgement. I said, “I'm definitely interested in the brand and founder story, but unfortunately I don't have the bandwidth for a founder feature piece this year, as I have several large pieces in the works that will fill up the remainder of 2024. Please continue keeping me posted on brand news, and I hope we can work together in some capacity again soon! xx”

All she had to say was “Got it, thanks for letting me know!” Instead? I’ll probably never work with her again. Yes, that sounds harsh, but when you have so many people in your inbox (including some wonderful people who bend over backwards for you), something that may seem insignificant can actually be pretty impactful. Especially when you’ve already done them a favor, and you said from the jump your plate is full.

Gratitude is so important in this industry. And it goes both ways. I’ve been rejected, too, and if someone offers a thoughtful response or has done their best to make something happen, I’m always gracious. No one can expect yes 100% of the time. As long as I’m being treated respectfully, I can graciously accept my fate and move on.

Speaking of moving on, let’s do just that… I’m excited to share I received my 100 subscribers imagery announcement from Substack this past week! From my two months on this app, I've gathered that building a community here is a lot different than other platforms. Well, every platform is different obviously. But I know that unlike the other apps, 115 subscribers is something to be celebrated here. I honestly had no idea what to expect when I signed up. I didn’t even know what direction my posts would take me. But what I’m realizing in these two short months is that I’m connecting more here than I am on other platforms. Maybe because we’re all speaking the same language here? There’s kind of this instant, built-in, safe, cohesive community? Whatever the reason, I’m grateful for this new endeavor and I’m having the best time. If you like what you see here, I’ve been sharing a lot of professional and industry insight on TikTok lately. ~like and subscribe~ HERE! ;)

THANK YOU to everyone who submitted unconventional fall scents for my impending Forbes.com piece. I’m on a press trip right now to Austin, TX (my first time! Have you been?), but when I get home I plan to dive through all the submissions. Fall scents (of the non-basic kind) are so deep and delightful. I know I’m going to have a blast with this.

I don’t have any major untapped editorial needs this week, but I DO have opps for anyone whose client simply wants more exposure/guaranteed social media coverage. Looking for anyone tied to an event photo booth, beer, wine or spirits brand that’s open to event donations, general product for media/influencer gift bags (can essentially be anything), anything whatsoever related to party decor. Will share more info upon interest.

And with that, is it really October? Wow. I want to say we should all treat ourselves to a PSL for sh*ts and giggles, but I just completed a 10-day raw food plan, so I think all the sugar would kill me. How about we all take a luxuriating bath with one of LUSH’s Halloween bath bombs??