End-of-Year Mental Health Check-In
I know we're all going through it in some way or another, so let's connect for a moment.
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The end of 2024 has brought me to a complicated place. Following a full decade of uncertainty, this was FINALLY one of the most empowering years of my life. However, witnessing so many people I know experience health issues or devastating loss in some form, I’m left feeling conflicted. It’s hard to celebrate your own wins when people you care about are struggling. And it’s also easy to get stuck in your head about whether you’re next to receive bad news.
But then there’s the other end of the spectrum: witnessing another year of people getting into serious relationships, having kids, buying a house or getting really skinny from Ozempic (lol but seriously). It’s all a stark reminder that I’m not getting any younger. I don’t compare myself to one singular person, but it’s only human to look around you and think about where you fit in.
All of that said, the holidays can be triggering for anyone and everyone. They can trigger people with substance issues or eating disorders. They can trigger people who have lost a family member or who aren’t close to their living family. They can trigger people who just lost their job. They can trigger people who are single, divorced or have divorced parents.
For many years, Christmas triggered feelings of loneliness because everyone around me had somewhere to go and someone to see. As a single Jew, I’ve felt left out of the conversation. Not in the sense that I wanted to be celebrating Christmas or opening presents, but that I wanted to be a part of something that day. I’ve felt isolated, while even fellow Jewish friends had fun activities or were out of town. Having plans on either Christmas Eve or Day is something I’ll never take for granted, and I’m so grateful for the moments in recent years that have made me feel less alone.
Is the News Affecting Your Mental Health?
Regardless of where you stand on the holidays, we’re about to embark on four years of extremist-level change as Americans. As recently as an hour ago, I learned that Trump intends to put a stop to daylight saving time. Regardless of your thoughts on that (how do you feel, btw?), it seems like a very drastic change. There’s also an NYT report that he plans to sue media outlets that don’t paint him in a favorable light.
The gasp-worthy Trump news coincides with Diddy updates, which are daily by the way. There’ve been so many disturbing stories about this monster infiltrating the news cycle that they’re all starting to blend. The craziest one of all (trigger warning, but you can read about it HERE) actually gave me literal nightmares. What’s even sicker about Diddy’s severe mental illness is the fact that he was able to get away with this behavior for multiple decades. There’ve been so many people either inspired by his power to act the same way, or feared for their life or career too much to speak up. Like, how did we not question why Cassie—on the heels of a huge top 40 hit, dating this megastar—didn’t rise to heightened fame? She seemingly had all the tools at her fingertips.
This man just slid by with his stupid Ciroc vodka and white parties. I imagine these stories must be triggering to all past victims of sexual assault, date rape or domestic violence. If this is upsetting, I’m deeply sorry you and other victims are reliving this pain through his disgraces.
As a ‘90s teen who grew up praising misogynistic rap and collecting every CD with a Parental Advisory label I could possibly find, I was definitely guilty of supporting this culture. And while yes, it really was a different time (you just had to be there), there’s no denying that the lyrics to every rap song blatantly celebrated (and continues to celebrate) violence, date rape, drugs, cheating or all of the above. And to top it off, rappers have faced domestic violence and/or sexual assault claims (most often with evidence) over the years, only to land a silly headline and get on with their lives (ie. Tyga, Fabolous, Dr. Dre, Nelly, and the Quality Control CEO (owner of Cardi B and Migos’ record label).
For what it’s worth, however, I never understood the appeal of Diddy (FKA Puff Daddy). I bought his debut album in 9th grade, and even then, I remember there was like one random song I had on repeat. I totally got the appeal of Biggie and his melodies and slick rhymes. Diddy, absolutely not. He was a terrible “rapper,” I didn’t like his production, I thought he was extremely unattractive, had forced swagger—and for no explicable reason, he was so ingrained in late ‘90s/early 2000s pop culture. This was especially interesting, too, because at that time, there was a really limited number of Black rappers who crossed over to white, mainstream pop-culture. Nelly, Snoop Dogg and Kanye are the main ones I can think of from the era. And by this, I mean ones who reached Ellen-level type status (not just top 106 & Park tier).
I know I just went on a tangent here, but it must have been pure intimidation that got Puff Daddy so far all these years. It’ll be wildly interesting to see what else transpires from this case, because there are so many other people involved behind the scenes. Speaking of all things mental health in this newsletter, let’s take a moment for Cassie, who so bravely came forward with everything to lose. Her courage opened the floodgates to her ex’s past, and the doors to women everywhere to feel even slightly more empowered coming forward about abuse at the hands of these powerful, terrorizing celebrities.
More (Potentially) Heartbreaking News
In last week’s newsletter, I said I was currently stressed about wrapping end-of-year deadlines, along with the possible demise of TikTok. Well, I didn’t leave my apt from Friday afternoon through Monday evening, so I’m actually pleased to share that I feel more on schedule to meet my deadlines before the ball drops (woot!). I mean there’s still a long ways to go, but I’m committed to making this happen.
On the other end of things, every day on TikTok is a new emotional roller coaster. A couple days ago, it appeared TikTok was indeed expected to bid adieu to Americans come Jan. 19. On Saturday, the U.S. court denied a plea to pause the ban. But as of yesterday, the Supreme Court agreed to hear the argument that its potential ban would violate the First Amendment.
ICYMI, the ban is being implemented because TikTok’s parent company ByteDance is owned by China, and China has access to U.S. data by way of this app. This is terribly sad, and will impact so many people and businesses, whether directly or indirectly. There’s much discussion over what app people will gravitate to next. There’s nothing at all similar to TikTok, and a lot of TikTok-centric content doesn’t make sense on other apps. Even with reels, I only share a fourth of my TikTok content with Instagram because it won’t resonate the same way.
I can’t believe how quickly many people’s livelihoods (mine included) will be swept from under them. TikTok has brought me so much joy over the last four years of regular use. The amount of education, discourse, customization, community and entertainment is incomparable to anything I’ve ever experienced. I went into it thinking I’d grow a huge following. I did not. But what I did gain, however, was much improved confidence, public speaking skills, creativity, makeup skills, a small-yet-supportive community, basic video editing skills, a mental health breakthrough and a wealth of knowledge in so many areas.
I spent so much time on the app that I only had 1,907 minutes of music listened to on Spotify this year when my Wrapped recap came out. That’s insane, coming from someone who clocked in at 45,000 minutes in 2016. TikTok became my direct line to all news, whether it be a sports game, political affairs, awards shows, Diddy, you name it. It was always in the background any time I was doing something solo at home that didn’t involve sleeping or working. I guess you could call it excessive, but it didn’t prevent me from anything else in my life, so I don’t think there’s any harm. Although without it, I’ll probably get more sleep and listen to more music. Either way, this changes up my whole routine.
You know what it feels like? Since TikTok has been a major thing for approx four years, it’s like when you’re in high school and it ends and everyone goes their own separate ways. Some people end up at the same college, some go somewhere random and some disappear altogether. Like what social media app will people venture to next? YouTube is too skill-based, Instagram isn’t community-driven like TikTok and honestly I don’t even know the rest. I stopped updating Twitter once I lost my blue checkmark thanks to X.
Anywhooooo… next week, I’ll be spilling some major PR tea. I can’t share yet because it hasn’t happened but by this time next week, it will have occurred. If you’re struggling to make it to the finish line of the year, you’re not alone. This is a safe space if you ever want to drop a note and say hi or share anything that resonates with you from this newsletter. If there’s anything you’d like me to share in the future, don’t hesitate to ask.
Here’s what I need before the end of the year…
IPSY - I’m looking for experts to share insight regarding “Benefits of Taking a Hot Bath” OR “How to Do Dewy Makeup on Dark Skin” - ALSO… if you know of any Black nail artists, please send me their info so I can include them in a different IPSY article.
The Quality Edit - looking for fun experiential beauty/wellness opportunities that I can review and create an accompanying video to go with it. For example, I recently turned in “I Just Got an $850 Facial on Rodeo Drive” - so I’m looking for wow factors or just something new or interesting. My last article was titled “I Own 15 Foundations—I Can’t Believe THIS One Hasn’t Gone Viral,” and I reviewed the Yensa Super Serum Foundation which is super under the radar.
Also… There’s a NEW free, private booking newsletter called Interview Hub. The beauty and fashion edition is launching in January (and I’ve been authorized to share with my Substack fam). Once you subscribe, you can submit any of your clients’ interview opportunities and upcoming events to be featured in the newsletter. You can also submit yourself for potential interviews. The founder has worked for E!, Entertainment Tonighnt, and a handful of additional outlets of note. The newsletter is designed for talent bookers, producers, media and publicists to come together.